Normal people would not spend their Friday night in a random park in Derby with other ‘abnormal’ people in the pouring rain running 2 mile ‘legs’ for a hairy helmet. A hairy what you say? A hairy helmet I say. What is a hairy helmet? It…
- Has a clear medium orange yellow colour
- Has an a average, frothy, good lacing, mostly lasting, white head
- It is moderate malty, grain, toasted, fruity
- It is sweet and bitter with a average duration
- It has a medium body
- Its texture is oily
So that’s why we run around the park in the pouring rain for 2 and a bit something miles. It was the real ale relay!
The course had changed slightly as the paths were too slippery so they put us on the grass – defies logic.
So I was first on the leg, with two legs still standing and off I went. There were a mix of club teams, odd teams and joggers. I was running under “runmoor.co.uk” registered by my friend Becky. Our team consisted of me, my friend Becky, Chris who I met at Wiggle who is around the same speed as myself (runs for Northbrook AC) and his other half, Emma.
Some of the fast club runners went for it, immediatly I felt my ‘man v horse’ legs, not having four legs oh no, I felt like I had legs of steel, or iron, they were not being flexible at all. As usual lots of runners ran off far too fast and by the bottom of the first hill I was beginning to over take them. Up the hill on the path – slippy no – I don’t think so, tough yes, although I still overtook a few people, and breath as most people took too much of a breather and I went flying on the flat slippy grass onwards and straight.
The harder you push, the more you are pulled.Nike Corporation on running
The hill down was on grass so even slippier but I let my body float down, I am getting stronger at runnng down hill as I let gravity take me to the bottom. A beep on my watch told me I had done 1 mile, it felt like 10 minutes not the 6.59 minutes that I had just done it in. ‘Eat My Dust’ quoted the Hairy Helmet website was not really appropriate for this weather I would maybe say ‘Eat my mud’ as too much mud splashed up onto all runners legs. Not as bad as Man v Horse the previous week though. Oh no.
Back round the park I was approaching the third female who looked about 12 years old and managed to stride past her even though my chest felt tight and my legs felt like they had been reinfoced with 10 tonnes of steel. I didn’t feel light or floaty or frothy or sweet or bitter, oh no this was painful. How come I can run 20 something miles and feel good but running 2 miles is so much pain for me?
Coming into the finish I just didn’t have that special sprinting sprint that I at least try to do sometimes, as a result the little 12 year old girl just beat me to the finish and made it quite clear she was “infront of me” at the funnel. Ok you may be in front of me by like 0.001 seconds, that’s so like amazeballs like cray-cray like so totes, so noob, and completly pos but I am so old that I could be your mum and even your grandma so neer neer nee nerr nerr. I had done 2 miles and a bit in just over 15 minutes, with a negative split – just!
I tagged Emma and off she went to run a brilliant 20 something 2 and a bit miler. She passed onto Becky who then ran it in 20 mins and 6 seconds. Just 6 seconds over that magic 20. It’s only 6 seconds. Only 6 seconds. And finally Chris, kitted out in his club vest he ran a fantastic effort of 15.40 just a mere 20 seconds behind my good (or bad) self.
The reason we race isn’t so much to beat each other,… but to be with each other.
Although some of the club teams had lapped us on the third leg, we weren’t last by any means, As the website says ‘you snoose, you loose’. For those who drink ale, the best bit was to come, a free drink for everyone and a good olde chin wag in a damp muddy cricket field. For me and Emma we nursed a cup of tea, the cheapest cup of tea from the bar I have paid in a long time, 50p a cup, 50p I tell you, only 50p – that made me more happy than running 2 and a bit miles in just over 15 minutes. That’s the way to spend a Friday evening folks! The traditional pub is so last year!
- Time: 15.20
- Distance: 2.23 miles
The Hairy Helmet Relay Race – 2012,